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#unpackingracism

1/9/2017

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I have this one specific fucked up memory where I totally had it twisted and confused about racism. I was at a punk show in downtown Toronto. This guy approached me and commented that it was nice to see another asian at the show. I gave him a funny look and he continued to say something about sticking together. I didn't agree and walked away. 
Sometimes, I look back and regret my ignorance and cold shoulder. Admittedly, I was young and stupid. But I reflect on how I too once refused to "see colour." I guess I believed the utopian ideology that we all have equal opportunity to fit in regardless of race. I had so deeply normalized systematic racism and whitewashing that I was blind to a fellow comrad reaching out in solidarity. Because he had a point, there weren't many other asians or even other people of colour at that punk show or in the punk scene at that time. Sticking together provides allyship, support to be different and stand in diversity rather than continue the assimilation.


#unpackingracism #oldmemories #itooamaracist #regrets #rejection #coldshoulder #solidarity #stickingtogether #punkshow #punkscene #downtowntoronto #longtimeago #onceuponatime #idontseecolour #standindiversity #continuetheassimilation #racism #stopracism 
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#unpackingracism

1/8/2017

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I remember this one time a boyfriend told me he loved me and wanted to have Chinese babies with me but  still also wanted to have Arian babies. When I finally found a safe place to share this memory, a friend asked me how did I respond. I didn't even know how to respond to that question. What was most shocking to me is how I reacted to that form of racism, not just the racist comment itself. 
​I guess I was so acclimatized to such racist behaviours, ideology, and comments, I hardly reacted. I just dealt with it like how I dealt with all the other normalized/OK'd racism.
I shared this story with my friends recently because we were discussing what does white supremacy even look like or how does that mentality even work? We brainstormed and I added it seems to be an elite, exclusive, enclosed group consciously or unconsciously. For example, white people wanting to only date or procreate with other white people. White people wanting to conserve their race. Keeping business and sharing their resources only with their community members of their race. What about affirmative action? In the extreme way? Are citizens or governments expected to do affirmative action in order to do the right thing perceivably in order to combat white supremacy?
What about when Jewish people only want to date other Jewish people? Or if Christians want to date another Christian? Is it a religious or cultural understanding they long for? What about when Chinese parents want their kids to marry other Chinese people to continue their heritage? Is it different? If so, How? Does reverse racism apply or not apply here?
So much to further unpack.

#unpackingracism #racistboyfriends #arianbabies #reactionstoracism #numbtoracism #acclimatizedtoracism #racistideologythatisnormalized #questionsonracism #affirmativeaction #reverseracism #culturalpreservation #whitesupremacy #whatiswhitesupremacy #whatdoeswhitesupremacylooklike #biracialrelationships
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#unpackingracism

12/27/2016

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Have you ever entered a room where you are the only white person and everyone is speaking a different language? How does it feel? How often does it happen? Did it happen because you are an expat or on vacation in a foreign place? Can you imagine what it might be like for a person of colour to enter a room full of white people, or to feel as they are the only person of colour in that room? How often do you imagine that to be in comparison to being the only white person in a room in North America? Do you think that could constitute as a form of white supremacy, constantly surrounded by white people ? Of course, a person of colour would often enough find themselves within a group of  people with the same heritage, due to family, community, or mixed diversed crowds, or multi cultural cities. How do you suppose people of colour experience that scenario differently? What if people of colour could notice the subtle differences in the vibe, environment, and privileges within white communities/circles from an 'outside' perspective as a person of  colour? Or if that person of colour could also see or feel the subtle differences in the vibe and environment of their own race or mixed races. Why do you suppose people of colour see or feel color ostracization more so than white people who "don't see or feel colour"? Is it because of white privilege within society? Or lack of colour or racial expression within a white community? How often do white people reflect on how diverse their crowd is? What about the idolization of white culture? How does it reflect in Hollywood, magazines, and sociology? Why is white beauty looked up to and thrived toward? Is it different from exotic beauty or cultural appreciation? I'm not saying people don't admire people of colour  as beauiful, but that there is a difference. Why does there sometimes feel like there is a dominance in white beauty? Why are other cultures trying to lighten their skin or white wash their beauty or culture? Is that how white supremacy started or formed? How do we unpack white culture as the supreme culture or race? 

When I began to unpack the topics of race, privilege, and oppression, I was also dating a mixed race, majorly cis gendered male, who had white privilege. His close circle of friends were primarily white or wore white privilege. I started to notice and ask myself why did I often feet uncomfortable entering this circle to join my lover in this circle. Could it be that I was just uncomfortable around people I didn't know as well? I could list and make up every possible reason. That would not negate the fact that I slowly became more aware that on some level, I felt unomfortable being the only person of colour present in the group. Was it because they were white supremists? Were they racist? What if there were at least one other person of colour in the group? What about a 90/10 or 80/20 ratio? Would I feel more comfortable then? Why was I so uncomfortable? Did I feel unsafe in any way?

There are a multitude of questions and possibilities to the scenario. This was my experience. My thought process of unpacking race as a noticable person of colour. Nobody was colourism. Nor racist to my face, often. Does that matter? What about when there were subtle moments of racism? What about the various awkward conversations I started to have with my lover being in this mixed race relationship? 

To unpack my feelings towards being the only person of colour in the group, I will start by saying I am not saying I felt unsafe around these group of loving and pleasant group of white people per se. I will start by saying, when I go to a small town where the everyone around me is mostly white or I again notice I am the only person of colours in the room or group; yes, I admit to feeling uncomfortable. But why? It is hard to articulate, let alone fully analyze why.  Perhaps it is because I feel the white people I'm surrounded by don't notice, don't question, don't know how it feels, don't experience the culture shock, don't recognize or acknowledge the privilege of the above listed reasons.

To be continued...................

Disclaimer: This blog started with the intention to simple share a perspective. Also to inspire congnitive exploration with questions, self and societial reflection on unpacking racism. It is duely noted, there are countless variables and points of view. Sharing this perspective is incredibly hard so it will come in pieces, sporadically, raw, and likely with spelling and grammar errors.

#unpackingracism #questions #stopracism #newblog #couragetospeak #couragetobeseen #couragetobeheard #peopleofcolour #whitesupremacy #mixedracerelationships #uncomfortable #beingtheonlypersonofcolourinagroup #howitfeels #tobecontinued
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    #unpackingracism is a blog where a voice, a perspective is being shared while they unpack ingrained racism in their experience as a person of colour in a white dominant world, unpacking questions on white supremacy, systematic oppression, normalization of racism, and whitewashing.

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    If you are a person of colour and want to voice an experience or perspective on related topics, please leave a comment or private message in the contact section. Let's use this platform together to share our perspective that might have been hard to voice or may have been silenced or repressed over the years.

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